Ten Steps For Enhancing Women’s Desire
Are you so busy taking care of home, business, life that you find you’ve stopped taking care of yourself? And by the time you crawl into bed at night the last thing you’re thinking about is sweet love with your one and only?
That’s why we’re outlining below ten steps you can take to get your sex life back on track.
Sydney sex therapist Dr Rosie King says she sees many women who wake up one day and ask themselves “Where Did My Libido Go? That’s why she wrote a book with just that title.
More than half of Australian women aged 29 to 59 report experiencing a lack of sexual desire at some time in the previous year. Many of these women will say they love their partner, life is good, they just don’t understand why they are lacking in interest in sex. So it’s not surprising their men also probably don’t have a clue what to do next.
As Dr King explains, a whole lot of things have helped create this common female experience.
- We’re under pressure to expect we’ll continue to have active sex lives later in life than previous generations;
- Women’s sexual response is affected by everything that’s going on in her life while men’s sex drive is far more focused;
- Brain science shows we’re geared to experience a rush of passion at the start of a relationship which morphs into a more stable and less intense response over time;
- Hormonal change – taking the Pill, giving birth, menopause all impact sex drive;
- Many women don’t understand what affects their libido and so can’t communicate what they need to their men
And just buying some sexy underwear and a kinky video isn’t going to do it. It’s said a woman’s main sex organ is her brain….
Or as novelist Isabelle Allende has commented: “For women, the best aphrodisiacs are words. The G-spot is in the ears. He who looks for it below there is wasting his time.”
So here are ten steps you can take to get to enhance your sexual desire
1) Think about the things that turn you off and eliminate them wherever possible. Are you getting enough sleep? Is conflict destroying your peace of mind? Is your bedroom welcoming? Make a short list and get to work making any changes.
2) Are health issues affecting your sex drive? Chronic pain? Worry about undiagnosed illness? See your doctor and sort it out.
3) Take time to look after your health; cut junk food, exercise regularly, take time to relax, and use alcohol moderately.
4) Avoid medications which reduce libido. If you are on an antidepressant or the Pill, work with your doctor to find a version which does not affect your sex drive.
5) Get your hormones checked by a doctor who understands the science (your GP may not). Even post menopause, bio identical hormone creams (testosterone, estradiol, estrogen) can boost energy, bone health and libido without the dangers of HRT therapy.
6) Make sex with your partner a priority and allow time and space for it to happen. Create a private sexy space where you feel comfortable.
7) Your desire is enhanced by communication, non-sexual intimacy, affection, quality time with your partner, low levels of conflict and domestic support. You need to ensure your partner understands this without nagging him about it.
8) One of the best ways to help create a feeling of mutual support is to find out what makes the man feel loved and make sure he receives that in return. Being supportive to him (Five positive comments for every negative for example) will work wonders.
9) Even with all these steps, desire may still be low. You can seek to boost it naturally with herbal supplements containing libido enhancers like damiana, tribulus terrstris, and horny goat weed.
10) Personal lubricants like kiwi fruit derived Sylk can ease vaginal dryness or sensitivity. Or L-arginine cream can increase sexual arousal and response. Don’t be shy about using these types of products if they help.