Jeremy Clarkson Proves Naughty Boys Win

jeremyTop Gear’s Jeremy Clarkson’s attraction lies in his “naughty boy” ability to beat the rap.  He says outrageous things and gets away with them. He offends almost as many as he entertains, and roars right on unfazed.

On the surface, Clarkson has everything women desire: He’s a powerful celebrity, he’s outrageously wealthy, and he has a cool ride.

In fact, the only thing Jezza doesn’t have going for him is that he’s no longer single. Happily married to his manager since 1993, he now lives in the Cotswolds with his wife, Frances Catherine Cain, and their three children, Emily, Finlo and Katya.

Men We Secretly Adore

While his fashion sense and chauvinistic comments are often cited as making him unpopular with women, in a 2008 poll of 5,000 female members of an online dating website, Clarkson came third in a poll of MISAs – Men I Secretly Adore, behind Jonathan Ross and Phillip Schofield.

Characteristically, Clarkson was upset not to have come top. Clarkson has often recognised and celebrated the fact that car fanatics can be found in both sexes.

In response to the reactions he gets, Clarkson has generally and consistently dismissed his importance, stating “I enjoy this back and forth, it makes the world go round but it is just opinion” and “I don’t have any influence over what people do, I really don’t. It makes no difference what I say. Top Gear is just fluff. It’s just entertainment – people don’t listen to me.”

Comments Don’t Hurt Car Sales

On the opinion that his views are influential enough to topple car companies, he has argued that he has proof that he has had no influence. “When I said that the Ford Orion was the worst car ever it went on to become a best-selling car.”  His concerted attacks have similarly done no harm to the likes of the Toyota Corolla.

On his chat show, Clarkson, he caused upset to the Welsh by placing a 3D plastic map of Wales into a microwave oven and switching it on. He later defended this by saying, “I put Wales in there because Scotland wouldn’t fit.”

On punching Piers Morgan, the editor of Daily Mirror: “Every woman asked me WHYI hit him, and every man WHERE I hit him.”

(See also The Stig Revealed)

Some of Clarkson’s more robust opinions:

The Renault Espace:”probably the best of the people carriers. Not that that’s much to shout about. That’s like saying ‘Ooh good I’ve got syphilis, the BEST of the sexually transmitted diseases.’”

The Suzuki Wagon: should be avoided like unprotected sex with an Ethiopian transvestite”

Clarkson’s highway code on cyclists: “Trespassers in the motorcars domain, they do not pay road tax and therefore have no right to be on the road, some of them even believe they are going fast enough to not be an obstruction. Run them down to prove them wrong.”

Bus lanes: “I don’t understand bus lanes. Why do poor people have to get to places quicker than I do?”

Small cars: “We all know that small cars are good for us. But so is cod liver oil. And jogging. I want to drive in a Terminator, not am EM Forster novel.”

The Lotus Elise: “This car is more fun than the entire French air force crashing into a firework factory.”

The Porsche Cayenne: “Honestly, I have seen more attractive gangrenous wounds than this. It has the sex appeal of a camel with gingivitis.”

On Cars: A car can be a tool but it can also be so much more. It can be a heart-starter, it can be a drug, it can be a piece of art and it can stir your soul

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