Does Men’s Low Libido Mean No Sex?
It became clear as the conversation continued that she suspected her husband was using low libido as an excuse to refuse to have sex on some occasions, while coming on strong when it suited him.
She wanted the definitive answer: if a man had low libido did that mean he couldn’t get an erection. And if he could, did that mean he didn’t have low libido?
The conversation terminated abruptly – the impression was the man under discussion had entered the room – and so the caller never stayed long enough to get the answer she probably didn’t want to hear – that it’s just not that simple.
Most men with lack of libido can achieve erections, but have lost the desire to have sex.
Out-of-Sync: Feelings and Physical Arousal
Sex therapist David Schnarch Ph D. says physical arousal and subjective arousal do not always occur hand-in-hand. You can be obviously physically aroused, but not feel that way. And conversely, you can feel a strong sense of desire, but find your body is not responding.
Says Dr Schnarch in Resurrecting Sex (Harper Collins) “Subjective arousal has to do with what you’re feeling (or not) about what your body’s doing. Sexual desire has more to do with your interest in engaging in sexual behaviour. Low desire is always relative to other factors – age, sex, health and life context. Low desire generally shows up as persistent lack of sexual fantasies and disinterest in sexual activity.”
David Schnarch notes men are just as likely to experience low desire problems as women – between a third and a half depending on which research you believe – but men are loathe to report it.
Low Libido Second Most Common Men’s Problem
Low libido is the second most common sexual dysfunction in men after premature ejaculation according to a recent issue of the Journal of the American Medical Association. And a loss of “mojo,” as film character Austin Powers would put it, is also very difficult for men to discuss, despite the help available from health professionals.
“Impotence and loss of libido are two very separate things,” says Richard Milsten, M.D., a New Jersey-based urologist and coauthor of “The Sexual Male” (W.W. Norton and Company).
“However, men who experience impotence commonly experience a decrease in libido over time,” he adds. When libido drops and impotence is not a problem, there are numerous factors a doctor might suspect as the cause.
While any illness can decrease sex drive, some conditions, such as thyroid disease, tumors of the pituitary gland (which controls most hormone production, including sex hormones) and depression, are directly linked to low libido, says Dr Milsten.
Low Libido Relationship Problems
Desire problems drain intimacy and good feelings from the relationship.
One in five married couples has a non-sexual marriage (being sexual less than ten times a year). Three in ten non-married-couples who have been together longer than two years have a non-sexual relationship.
As the woman caller mentioned at the start indicated, if a man reports low libido his partner often feels rejected and suspects it is just her he doesn’t desire. That can lead to a lack of trust and further emotional conflicts.
Are there any medicines for low sexual desire?
Drugs for ED such as Cialis, Levitra and Viagra have no effect on sexual desire – only on erections. Raising testosterone levels, either through injection, patch or herbs like tribulus terrestris, can help. And a number of other herbal remedies that have reported good results in stimulating men’s desire, including horny goat weed, tongkat ali, and muira puama.
Read more about these herbs and natural sex enhancer Herbal Ignite at www.herbalignite.com.