Alcohol lowers ED Risk

If you’re a moderate drinker with erectile dysfunction and a well-meaning someone in your life – wife, doctor – suggests you give up the booze and you’ll be right, tell them about the Western Australia Men’s Health Study.

This investigation of the life style and other habits of 1580 Aussie men showed drinking within normal guidelines actually decreases your risk of erection problems.

And that included a surprisingly generous amount of liquid refreshment each week.  Even binge drinkers did better in terms of bedroom performance than non-drinkers or men who drank one day a week.  (Although the study authors were quick to add binge drinking might cause other health issues apart from ED)

Lowest Risk 20 Drinks a Week

The men with the lowest risk of erectile dysfunction were those who drank up to four drinks five days a week. Moderate drinkers were 30 per cent less likely to have problems in bed compared with those who abstained.

Interestingly the men most likely to suffer from erectile dysfunction were ex-drinkers.

Researchers at Western Australia’s Keogh Institute for Medical Research said in their introduction to a report published the Journal of Sexual Medicine: “Alcohol consumption is a contentious social topic and is often assumed to have deleterious effects on sexual performance.

“There is a lack of consensus on whether alcohol consumption may in fact be beneficial to erectile function.”

Alcohol – Bedroom Positive

The study abstract states: “Compared with never-drinkers, the age-adjusted odds of ED were lower among current, weekend, and binge drinkers and higher among ex-drinkers.”

Said one of the researchers: “These findings suggest a positive association between low-risk alcohol drinking and fewer problems with erectile dysfunction.”

Feeling lonely? Durex’s new ‘Fundawear’ redefines the term ‘long-distance relationship’. And probably also ‘reach out and touch someone’.

Long Distance Lovers

So. What’s this so-called Fundawear all about?

Durex has cunningly appropriated technology ordinarily used to make cellphones vibrate, wiring it into underwear in such a way that it can be remotely stimulated, allowing users to transfer their ‘personal touch’ across the web, even via a smartphone app!

The company is excited to soon offer this world first to couples all over the globe, although for the present it is still in the experimental phase. Especially keen couples are however able to sign up to participate in the experimental stages via the company’s Fundawear Facebook page.

Future of Foreplay?

Dubbing it the future of foreplay, Durex predict big things for their new Fundawear line. In theory, this product will allow couples to ‘tease, tickle and tantalise’ one another anywhere, anytime. Separation and long distance relationships as we know it may never be the same again.

See below for videos outlining this innovative new fashion technology:

What Are Your Thoughts? Will this new technology usher in a new age of long term relationships, redefine foreplay? Would you or your partner try it out? Let us know what you think, we love to hear your opinions!

New research suggests that penis size may matter after all; and the bigger, the better.

Is Bigger Better?

Appearing in the Journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, this ground breaking new research into the importance of penis size shows that not only is a man’s attractiveness to women directly correlated to his penis size, but even the longest penis viewed by the women in the study may not be ‘enough’.

Indeed, the data surveyed bucked predictions and showed no end point where increasing penis size was associated with a decrease in perceived attraction.

How Long?

The women surveyed demonstrated a clear preference for the largest penises displayed, in excess of 13 centimetres when flaccid. The study’s authors note that this is beyond the measurements of a whopping 95% of men.

The women were also unexpectedly swift in their judgement: sizing up the male models and proclaiming them either attractive or not in less than three seconds. And the smaller the penis, the quicker the judgements.

The researchers believe the speed of these assessments indicate that the women were not consciously weighing up the pros and cons of the model’s various attractive and unattractive features, but rather made an instinctive, snap judgement about overall attractiveness.

The Size of It

The advantage of this new study over previous studies of male physical attractiveness and penis size is that all the models were carefully varied on a range of physical features, so in theory the women could not guess what trait of physical attractiveness was being investigated and thus bias their answers.

These findings seem initially to contradict previous findings that 85% of women were more than happy with the size of their partner’s penises.

However one explanation may be the difference between a more primeval, instinctive base of attraction, and the more complex psychologically and emotionally mediated attraction women feel towards men they know personally.

What do you think? Does the data prove that the bigger a man’s penis, the more attractive he is to women? Or was the investigation too simplistic? Let us know what you think, we love to hear your opinions!

Can a couple’s intimacy offset the negative impact of job stress on male sexual health issues? A new study seems to suggest so.

Strong Relationships Protect Male Virility

New research from the International Society for Sexual Medicine (ISSM) suggests a couple’s relationship health can inoculate male sexual health against the negative impact of job-related stress. The landmark study provides some of the most compelling evidence yet for the importance and real significance of relationship health on broad sexual health, especially in men.

Of course, this has long been an established wisdom amongst sexual health therapists and counsellors. Sex is obviously more than pure mechanics, and few things have the capacity to impact on our psychological and emotional states than our relationships, especially our romantic relationships, our significant others.

It’s just that until this point the scientific data to support the wisdom has been scanty.

Link Between Job Stress and Male Sexual Health?

The evidence for the general link between job-related stress and men’s sexual difficulties has been similarly lacking.

The recent research published in the ISSM aimed to remedy both these situations. It was conducted with over 2000 men, from Portugal, Norway and Croatia. Measures were taken of the men’s job difficulties, sexual health difficulties and relationship factors.

The results indicated an association between job stress and male sexual health concerns. Interestingly though, the findings seemed to suggest that negative mood was the common factor behind both job and sexual difficulties, and that emotional support, in particular intimacy with their partner and positive fatherhood experiences, was shown to significantly reduce the risk of sexual health problems due to job stress.

Or in other words, strong, positive romantic and parental relationships are powerful protective factors against external stressors.

What’s your opinion?

Can something as simple as couple intimacy and paternal experiences really intercede against the negative effects of job stress on sexual health? Is the importance of general relationship for men’s health not given enough credence by the medical establishment? Let us know your thoughts, we love to hear your opinion!

You’d better believe it. Men really are hard wired to pleasure their partner sexually, says Sydney sex therapist Jacqueline Hellyer.

“I’ve spoken to hundreds of men in my practice, and without exception their number one concern without hesitation is pleasuring their partner.

“Couples need to understand the more pleasure the woman has, the more pleasure her man has. Women should be leading sexually and letting him know in a beautiful seductive way what pleases her.”

Delight – Or Disappointment

So why – let’s face it – would most women acknowledge their sex life disappoints as often as it delights? It all comes down to the way we think about sex in Western societies, where “virtually everything we understand about sex is dysfunctional,” says Hellyer.

The Tantra Fusion workshops Hellyer runs for women (suitably titled Luscious Women) men and couples help participants re-frame sex as a “mindful, connected and present” whole body experience. She’s referred to it the sex most Australians experience as the equivalent of baked beans when they could be having a gourmet meal.

We’ve been captured by the “adolescent male masturbating model of sex,” she says. “We think ‘I’m horny, so stimulate the genitals fairly intensely and climax’. That’s why we’ve got so many women with supposedly low libido. For many Westerners sex is possibly the least intimate thing they do.”

‘Wrong’ Thinking About Sex

Some of the myths that go along with the ‘wrong way’ of thinking about sex include:

• Sex is just for young people
• Sex is all about erections and performance – we’re always going for ‘bigger harder faster’
• Sex is something you’ve got to work yourself up to

Says Hellyer: “From the 1970s onwards with the so-called sexual revolution women were encouraged to act like teenage boys in their sex lives. Now we’ve got a generation of young women who’ve got their sexual ideas from porn – and young men complain to me they are frighteningly aggressive.”

Real Sexual Revolution Needed

The ‘sexual revolution’ we really need is one that sees sex as ‘a normal and healthy part of life’ involving “mindful love making” says Hellyer.

“We want to develop the “Mmmm” factor – slow down, get connected, remember what it is about you that’s special to me. Sex becomes something entirely different, the sensations are very different and you have more of a ‘whole body ecstasy.’

“Purely genital orgasm floods with body with certain hormones which post coitus, can leave you feeling depleted.  Mindful sex produces a constant flow of ecstatic emotions with no post coital low.”

Far from being only for the young, this kind of sex actually improves as you age, says Hellyer, who is a semi-regular commentator of the ABC’s Nightlife with Tony Delroy and makes regular TV appearances.

“In the more spiritual traditions it is believed a man can’t be a really good lover until he hits 50 and his penis becomes less of the focus.”

Five Steps To Good Mindful Sex

Changing your thinking about sex can come down to a few simple and practical steps, suggests Hellyer.  It doesn’t need to involve deep yoga or meditation… but depends on your willingness to give it time and space. Hellyer suggests you should regard it like a gourmet meal – to be savoured.

1. Create space and time for it. Your bedroom is your sanctuary – make it a beautiful place where you can enjoy private time. And don’t fall for the idea that the best sex is spontaneous and ‘just happens.” Especially in an on-going relationship you need to ensure you are not tired and distracted. And turn off the TV – one of the worst sex-killers, says Hellyer.
2. Go to your bedroom. Maybe take a cup of tea. Just sit together. Give yourselves time to feel connected, to remember what you found special in one another. It may feel really unusual – but if that’s all you do at first, that’s fine.
3. Light some candles, put some music on, create a serene calming setting.
4. Don’t jump into genitally focussed sex. Just kiss for a while and see where we go.
5. Embrace, touch each other, tell each other stories.

Most of us associate oral cancers with chain-smoking bourbon-swilling men in their seventies. New research however suggest the cancer is on the rise, amongst young non-smokers. And one of the possible causes proposed may surprise you.

Increase in Incidence of Oral Cancers

The culprit it appears may be a form of Human Papillomavirus (HPV), the most common sexually transmitted STD, usually manifesting as genital warts.

Research recently published in The Journal of Clinical Oncology found that the incidence rate of oral cancers amongst people in their 40s has doubled since the mid-seventies. In addition The American Cancer Society stats show that of the 34,000 who are currently afflicted by oral cancer, a whopping 39% of cases are related to HPV.

Human Papillomavirus and Cancer

In a nutshell, high risk HPV strains can cause cancers via the synthesis of special proteins, which interfere with healthy cells ability to repairs themselves and control their own reproduction rates.

The virus is transmitted only by direct contact however. HPV can only be contracted in the location it physically attaches itself to, never via pulmonary or bloodstream transmission.

Making oral sex a prime candidate for how it gets into someone’s mouth.

Can Oral Sex Really Cause Cancer?

There’s a chance HPV may also be transmitted by mouth to mouth contact, but no hard proof has yet been uncovered. It appears oral sex is the major risk factor.

Sexual health professionals worry that while young people may be getting the safe sex message, they still treat oral sex as risk-free, unnecessarily putting themselves at risk of contracting HPV. Indeed, a 2005 study in the journal Pediatrics confirms this, finding teens in particular rate oral sex as a very low health risk compared with vaginal sex.

As Dr Robert Haddad, head and neck surgeon at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute, puts it:

“I think it’s obvious right now to really say that oral sex is not a safe way of having sex and it could have consequences.”

Many people, Haddad goes on to say, won’t even be aware they have contracted HPV. It may be a ticking oral cancer time-bomb for thousands of unknowing men and women. He urges people to be aware of who they are sexually active with and take necessary precautions.

The idea of the Aussie man as always ready for sex 24/7 has taken a battering in latest research by Sydney sexologist Elaine George into low sex drive in men.

A surprise finding of her work so far is that stress and fatigue are just as much killers for men’s sexual desire as they are for women. The idea that men’s sex drive is bullet proof doesn’t reflect reality, says George, who is two years into her doctoral study.

“Some men almost shut down when they are severely stressed. Emotional withdrawal is often followed by physical withdrawal.”

50 Per Cent Don’t Want Sex Every Day

Preliminary results show while 49 per cent of men do want sex pretty well anytime anywhere, around 20 per cent of men don’t want sex every day and some are quite contented with sex once a month or less.

And that’s a concern because physical intimacy in a relationship is very closely correlated with emotional intimacy, says Elaine George.

The definition of a sexless marriage is one in which sex occurs less than 10 times a year.

Maintaining Intimacy Important

George says there is a lot of merit in the idea of “bread and butter” sex to maintain intimacy during difficult times.  It’s fine not to expect fireworks and a peak sexual experience every night, she says. “Regular intimacy is very valuable to a relationship.  The ‘all or nothing’ attitude that you expect orgasm every encounter can become a dangerous psychology.”

And it’s not just the low sex drive that can be so destructive for both men and their partners she says. There is also a strong link between low sex drive and erectile dysfunction – a term George doesn’t like to use because she says it “labels” men and opens up a Pandora’s Box of additional stress and performance anxiety.

Temporary ED No Cause For Panic

“A man may not be able to achieve an erection in one situation – it doesn’t mean to say it’s all over. It might mean he is extremely tired and fatigued and in that particular situation he loses his potency – and then that leads to other scenarios.

“In couples I see when this happens wives often experience panic, anger, self-doubt, and some then tend to become more controlling and over bearing and that sends him running further away.”

Men have been raised to think they are stripped of their identity if they can’t get an erection – and that’s just not true says George, who operates from a practice in Neutral Bay and has written extensively on sex and relationships in the Daily Telegraph.

Talking to GPs about ED

Many men are still suffering from erectile issues that could be appropriately managed because they are reluctant to talk about the issue with their doctors, says George, who travelled NSW lecturing doctors on ED drugs for Eli Lilly (manufacturers of Cialis) last year.

She found there was a “Mexican standoff” between doctors and their patients over the issue of erectile dysfunction.  “It reflected the old 80:20 rule. 80 per cent of men think it’s up to their doctors to raise the issue of erectile function and 80 per cent of doctors think it’s up to the patient to raise it.”

No One-Pill Panacea for ED

George says there is no “one pill panacea” for erectile dysfunction or low sex drive.  “So many of the emotional factors do not get acknowledged in men’s health – and they apply for men as much as they do for women. There is almost always some emotional or psychological aspect to it.”

The quantitative research has now been completed in her low sex drive study and she will move into analysing the data and doing some qualitative follow up work over the next year. “I really hope we will develop a much better understanding of what sexual desire means for men as a result of my work<” says George. “For every individual you have a unique set of priorities.”

How do you cope with menopausal night sweats – or performance anxiety – while you’re also trying to be “oh-so-sexy” with a new, second time round partner?

It’s a dilemma facing increasing numbers of midlife women and men, if the calls Sydney counsellor Matty Silver gets are anything to go on.

Matty, who sees clients at her Coogee clinic as well as doing telephone counselling, says she’s noticed an increase in calls from women who need advice on how to start a relationship after marriage break up – and many of them are also at the stage of life when they are dealing with menopause as well as a prospective new partner. But most of her clients are men, many of them wrestling with performance anxiety after a stressful break up.

Many older women are ill-equipped for the new etiquette around internet dating and safe sex, and change-of -life symptoms just make it all that much harder, says Matty.

“It’s not a sexy look when you are sweating all over the place.”

The author of a popular Sydney Morning Herald blog on sex and relationships, Matty gave Midlife Rocks her Top Tips for Second Time Round Dating Success

1) Don’t Be Afraid of HRT

Embrace menopause – and don’t be afraid of HRT – says Matty, who reported in a recent SMH blog that many Australian GP’s believe the pendulum has swung too far away from HRT therapy.

A webcast in late 2011 from Jean Hailes for Women’s Health, a not-for-profit organisation providing services for women across Australia, on the topic “Fifty Shades of Midlife – Menopause, Mood & More” gave the thumbs up for HRT.

Matty says she is fed up with the scaremongering that has frightened women off, when in fact the risks of serious complications for HRT are very small.

“You feel like sex, your sex drive is higher and it’s much more fun when you’ve got menopause relief.”

She recommends Livial, a synthetic form of HRT.  Livial helps relieve hot flushes, and improves natural lubrication. You will need to consult a doctor for a prescription.

2) Don’t Jump Into Bed Too Quickly

Women returning to dating after years away often forget there are a lot of men out there who are on the web primarily for sex.

Matty hazards a guess at least half the men on popular internet dating sites like RSVP and e harmony used by older people are looking for sex on a first date.

Unless that’s your motivation too, be discerning and don’t jump in bed with everybody straight away, suggests Matty.  And when you do decide it’s time to have sex, ensure it is done safely.

3) Don’t Be Afraid to Insist on a Condom

Often after a long period of being in a marriage, women are ill-equipped to face up to safe-sex practice, says Matty “When they were younger they were on The Pill and didn’t worry about condoms.”

That’s why she is enthusiastic about the Little Black Dress safe sex awareness campaign launched by Family Planning NSW for older Australians along the theme “Safe sex is an easier conversation to have with your clothes on.”

NSW Family Planning medical director Dr Deborah Bateson has said she “dreams of running classes on condom-negotiation skills for older women”.

Sexually transmitted infections are highest amongst the older age group because many think “I don’t have to worry about getting pregnant so why bother with a condom?” says Matty.

“Men get STI’s too, and many of them are unaware they have one…   so when you are first in a relationship, insist on a condom,” she says.  And when you move on to thinking the relationship is going somewhere and might be monogamous, then get a test just to ensure you are both free of problems like chlamydia.

4) Talk to Someone

There is still an ageist attitude to older people having sex, says Matty, so it is sometimes difficult to get help if you need it.

She says some of her clients have tried to talk to their GP about sex and have got a response along the lines of “do you still have sex at 55?”

Dr Lesley Yee of the Australian Centre for Sexual Health says many physicians may see sexual dysfunction in the elderly as a biological part of the aging process and therefore not a medical issue.

Matty suggests finding someone you are comfortable with who understands sexual health. “Women with Vaginismus  (pain during intercourse) often get a terrible time.  Some practitioners seem to know very little about it and tell them their vagina is too small.”

5) Offer Men A Little Understanding

Matty says she sees more men than women in her practice because many men suffer performance anxiety, especially if they are emerging from a relationship breakdown and have their confidence dented.

“Sex is so much easier for women, they can just lay there and pretend.  A man can’t – and he has no idea if he is any good or not. If a woman makes a critical remark like ‘My former partner never did that’ it can destroy him.”

Matty recommends using erectile dysfunction drug Cialis for these situations, because “20mg will last for about three days. Take it on a Friday night and it will last right through the weekend.  Once you’ve enjoyed successful sex a few times the performance anxiety disappears and you don’t need it anymore.”

No one can deny times have changed, in the world of dating and romance. But does that mean sex after your first date is okay now? And aren’t the sort of men who go in for that the sort of men you’d probably want to avoid? Well, maybe you don’t need to be told. But just in case you’re not aware:

Getting Lucky on the First Date

As it happens, men who prefer to go for that short-term fix, sex on the first date, tend to have the following highly desirable traits:

• Lower than average intelligence
• Higher than average arrogance
• Higher than average levels of mental stress

Sounds like a winner? Yeah, that’s what we thought—a real catch. But basically, it turns out that men who have this unfortunate trifecta of negative traits are predisposed towards short-term fixes, rather than longer-term reward. And it seems this is just as true with romance and relationships as it is with anything else.

Why ‘Getting Lucky’ Isn’t Really That Lucky

It’s undeniable, there can be an element of ego-gratification there—the thought that your date just can’t resist your charms, just cannot wait any longer to ‘have you’. But let’s be real: men like sex. And many men just aren’t that picky, are often more than happy to lower their usual standards if they think some easy sex may be on the cards.

In other words, despite how it may feel in the heat of the moment, getting first date sex really isn’t that tricky, isn’t really anywhere near as significant as it may seem. And there’s good science to back this up.

One Night Stand Research

Research from the University of Texas shows that a whopping one in five men have sex on a first date. It’s just a standard thing for them. And again, this is the less intelligent, arrogant, stressed men we’re talking about. Real prize specimens.

Further, a study from the University of California shows that the more sexual partners a man has, and the sooner into the ‘relationship’ (if you can call it that!), the more likely he is to perceive his partners as suddenly seeming unattractive, post-sex. Even worse, new research currently in the works at Brigham Young University seems to be indicating that men who obtain quick sex from multiple partners are far more likely to be unfaithful if/when they do become involved in long term relationships. Surprise surprise.

The ‘Audition’ Myth

All of which seems to contradict the oft-upheld idea that men must audition a woman to be sure of good sexual chemistry before deciding to commit (no prizes for guessing who’s spreading this one around!)

Dr Dean Busby of Brigham Young University is openly critical of the audition myth, and says he has the data to disprove it. He says in his studies of couples he has found no data linking sexual chemistry with relationship longevity.

He maintains that the mechanics of good sex aren’t particularly difficult and are easily within the reach of most couples. Instead, he argues, it’s the emotions and vulnerability, the meaning of sex and whether it strengthens a relationship that’s the complicated part, and it’s these factors that have more to do with relationship longevity.

What Do You Think? Is sex on the first date really worth it in the end? Are the 20% of men who regularly get lucky really that lucky? Let us know what you think, we love to hear your opinions.

Two new studies into men’s health and erectile dysfunction – one in Australia and the other in the UK – have once again highlighted the links between difficulties in getting an erection and future health risks from heart and other chronic disease.

The first – Australian research that makes up the world’s largest study to examine links between ED and heart disease – found even minor erectile dysfunction in healthy fit men can be an indicator of future heart risks.

The second – a UK survey of 1000 men over the age of 35 which found a third of them couldn’t see their penis over their belly – has led to a new initiative – the Big Check – to make men more aware of the links between carrying too much weight and later chronic illness including severe ED.

Both studies are featured in a recent column by Sydney sex therapist Matty Silver in the Sydney Morning Herald.

Any ED Needs Heart Check

The ED and heart disease study with 95,000 Australian men over the age of 45, published online last month, showed ED did not cause heart problems but was an early indicator of symptoms that lead to heart problems, like a build-up of plaque in the arteries. The researchers emphasise ED doesn’t cause heart problems.

Says Dr Rob Grenfell from the Australian Heart Foundation: “These results tell us that every man who is suffering from any degree of erectile dysfunction should be seeking medical assistance as early as possible, and also insisting on a heart check by their GP at the same time”.

And study director Emily Banks says the risks of future heart disease and premature death increased steadily with severity of erectile dysfunction, whether or not there was a history of cardiovascular disease.

(Dr Rob Grenfell has also published new research to show depression – another problem for many Australian men – and heart disease are linked.)

Is a Beer Gut Blocking the View?

If you are experiencing a case of the disappearing penis – where you can’t see your genitals over your stomach – you need to take stock – and fast.

Matty Silver says although no similar survey has been done in Australia, you only have to go to the mall to see plenty of men with beer bellies – and mostly they don’t appear to care.

Says Silver: “They shrug their shoulders and like to joke: “My partner likes my love handles,” “I have the body of a God – and my God is Buddha.” Or the best one: “I have a veranda over my toy shop.”

What they don’t realise is the toy shop won’t operate for much longer if they don’t do something about their weight.

Get Your Gear Off

Instead of acting blase, according to Dr Johan du Plessis, one of the doctors behind the The Big Check website, men should:

“Take off your clothes, stand upright and look down at your penis, if you can’t see it, you are obese. Don’t ignore it, it can knock years off your lifespan but it can also put you in serious risk from life threatening illness.”

Rather, make life changes in terms of diet, exercise, work habits and stress control that can help you avoid future health problems – and enjoy a long and satisfying sex life.