Are You Being Taken For Granted?
Going to bed at different times is just one of the little signs that romance has gone out of your marriage – and a new UK poll shows it doesn’t take long for couples to start taking one another for granted.
A Daily Mail poll of 2000 married couples showed in general after three and a half years the buzz has stopped buzzing. The honeymoon is well and truly over; they stop saying “I love you” and start taking one another for granted.
Even more disquieting, they prefer sleep over sex, stop cuddling up on the sofa in the evenings and are more likely to go to bed at different times.
But most couples don’t consider the lack of attention a problem. They regard their marriages as “strong” and say the lack of attention is simply because they are “comfortable” with one another.
Is Showing You Care Important?
The poll showed that after three and a half years of marriage, it’s likely that rather than enjoying an evening together, couples will eat at different times, sit in different rooms and zone out of a conversation in favour of watching television.
Kate Jones, of Co-operative Food, which commissioned the study, said the research showed once they’ve tied the knot, it’s all too easy for couples to start getting complacent and taking each other for granted.
“We all know that it’s the little things that make a big difference, so adding a bit of quality time, like re-introducing ‘date nights’ or enjoying a meal in together, could be a good way to show you care.
“Bad habits begin to creep into the relationship, such as breaking wind in front of each other, showering less, women forgetting to shave their legs, not closing the bathroom door when using the toilet and leaving the toilet seat up.”
Being A Slob About The House
The study also found appearance takes a turn for the worse, with many dressing down in tracksuit bottoms or pyjamas before their partner gets home.
Not bothering with make-up and ditching matching underwear in favour of granny pants also becomes common place.
This is also the time we start forgetting marking wedding anniversaries and Valentine’s Day.
Couples revert to being more interested in spending time with friends than each other.
But despite entering the comfort zone, two thirds of those polled said they still consider their marriage to be ‘strong’.
Taking for Granted ‘Normal’ and Good
Only 43 per cent believed taking each other for granted was a bad thing, and 75 per cent said it was ‘normal’ for anyone who has been married for a decent length of time.
Nine out of ten people claimed the only reason they behave as they do is because they are so comfortable with each other.
Says Kate Jones: “They see taking each other for granted as a sign of security and comfort, that you don’t need the reassurance of saying ‘I love you’ all the time.’
Although 82 per cent of couples claim to be happy with their marriage, 49 per cent do wish their partner was ‘more romantic’.
However, half of couples admit they don’t tell each other they love them enough, and one in four would like to make more effort by introducing more ‘date nights’.
What Do You Think?
So what do you think about the topic of being “taken for granted” do you feel over looked and a bit disappointed yourself that your partner doesn’t take more trouble to show you he or she appreciates you? Or do you agree that after a few years together it’s natural to relax and not bother with the smaller gestures so much – after all you are “comfortable together.”
If you’ve any doubt about what we are talking about, here’s the Daily Mail’s list of signs you are being taken for granted… do you agree?
The top 20 signs that YOU are being taken for granted
- Your partner opts to sleep rather than having sex
- Lack of ‘date nights’
- They forget to say ‘I love you’ everyday
- You stop kissing each other goodbye
- You go to bed at different times
- You don’t cuddle up on the sofa in the evening anymore
- Dressing down in tracksuit bottoms before the other half gets home
- You no longer bother with Valentine’s Day
- They assume you’ll do all the chores
- They break wind when you are around
- The little phone calls at work stop
- Ditching matching underwear
- You don’t religiously apply make-up before seeing each other
- Forgetting to say thank you for dinner
- You stop shaving your legs so often
- They stop buying spontaneous gifts for no reason
- Slacking on chores or doing half jobs
- Leaving the toilet seat up
- Not excited at the chance to spend one on one time with you
- They prioritise their TV choices over yours