Planning Ahead For Sex



Passion by appointment is the new trend for busy couples who want to keep their marriage alive but find the days – and nights – just aren’t long enough.

British website Netmums has ranked “scheduled sex” near the top of a list of new parenting trends for 2014 after an online poll of its members found three out of five respondents admitted planning ahead for sex, even putting it in their diaries.

A third said they planned for weekly engagement, while a quarter admitted they only managed a month or less.

Spontaneity ‘Dead’

And though the British media responded by decrying the “loss of spontaneity” sex experts like Sydney therapist Dr Rosie King have been telling couple for years that if they want to keep their long term relationship alive they need to plan for sex, not just expect it’s going to happen spontaneously.

That’s because as a couple settles down to “nested companionship” from the highs of early infatuation the cocktail of brain chemicals that produced the dazed “in love” feeling is replaced by a more stable intimate relationship – and the urgency levels out.

Worth Keeping Love Alive

While the Daily Telegraph suggested this was “a reinvention of the fashion for ‘date nights’ but without any hint of romance,” Netmums co-founder Siobhan Freegard suggested while spontaneity was lovely “people are realising if you wait for the spontaneous moment it will probably never come.”

“The general consensus is that it is worth making the effort even if even if you don’t feel like it.” Couples weren’t just resorting to “ten minutes in the utility room. Because they know it’s coming up they send each other little texts during the day…”

And the top rating trends for parenting in 2014?

  • “Cake smashes”,  when parents book a professional photographer to photograph their child tucking into a cake on their first birthday
  • “Labour playlists” in which pregnant women not only head to the maternity unit armed with their favourite musical tracks to help them through childbirth but increasingly share and compare the lists online.
  • Breast milk jewellery. Originating from the US, specialist jewellery makers now offer trinkets made from solidified drops of breast milk which have been turned into beads as a memento for mothers of when their child was a baby.


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