Diamonds may be forever, but nothing says I really love you like your very own miniature whale. Or at least so says fashion designer Damien Greesi.

Making Love Personal Again

Greesi is the mastermind behind this remarkable new token of affection, which insiders believe is set to make real waves. But why miniature whales? Greesi explains:

“Simple–it’s the prestige. The exclusivity. Today almost every married woman’s got a great big chunk of colourless rock on her hand. Wow. Big whoop.”

“But when was the last time you went to dinner at the Joneses, and bam–there’s a pod of totally unique, designer mini-whales, right in the living room! Never is when, I’ll bet.”

A Gift for All Occasions?

While the new mini-whales are intended primarily as a proposal tool, Greesi claims they’re perfect as gifts to mark all significant occasions.

“I got my daughter a pair for her eighth birthday. And you know what? Not one other of her friends has ever had anything like that, for their birthday, not one. She knows her daddy loves her, that she’s special enough to warrant a little more effort. Can her classmates say the same? Yeah–doubt it.”

Mini-Whale Care and Maintenance

So how intensive is the care the mini-whales require: feeding, handling and environment? We put the question to Greesi:

“Oh look… I think people are pretty smart about this sort of thing. They’ll find a good spot for their whales, they’ll work out what they like to eat–it’s just trial and error. And anyway, if in doubt, local pet shops will be able to give some tips, I’m sure.”

Also, to allay Green concerns, Greesi is quick to deny claims that the whales are in any way genetically engineered. He says workers simply “encourage them to grow smaller”.

Image source: http://letsgowhaling.blogspot.com

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Jamie

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