Since the death of the North Korean autocrat, an official set of ten unusual ‘facts’ has been released. What do you think? Potentially plausible? Or too bizarre too believe?
Top Ten Bizarre Kim Jong-Il Facts
#1 Supernatural Birth
According to Soviet records, Kim Jong-il was born in Siberia, in 1941, while his parents were on the run due to the Japanese occupation of Korea.
But the official North Korean files have a slightly different take: born in 1942, at his father’s secret log-cabin base on North Korea’s sacred Mt Paektu,
At the moment of his birth, apparently, a bright star lit up the heavens. Next, the current season, winter, spontaneously gave way to spring spring, Whilst rainbows unfurled across the sky.
#2 Preternaturally Talented Golfer
In 1994, Pyongyang media claimed that Kim Jong-il shot 11 succesive holes-in-one, achieving an unprecedented 38-under-par game—on his very first attempt at the game! Take that, Tiger Woods.
Official records indicate this record-breaking feat was witness and verified by each of his seventeen bodyguards at the time!
#3 Film-Lover, Auteur Kidnapper
Not satisfied with amassing a personal collection of over 20,000 movies, the dictator’s passion for film caused him to kidnap South Korean director Shin Sang-ok and his actress wife Choi Eun-hee. The reason: to force them to create his brainchild, the film ‘Pulgasari’; more or less a socialist take on Godzilla.
Party officials declared their leader a worldwide fashion, contending Kim Jong-il’s suits were being hailed worldwide as an avant-garde fashion phenomenon.
#5 Never Defecated
Belive it or not, this was actually claimed by his official biography on the North Korean state web site, which has since been taken down.
#6 Penchant for Kidnapping Short People
According to one of the autocrat’s former tutors, the government distributed thousands of pamphlets to citizens, purporting to sell a miracle drug that would make them taller. The unfortunates who responded were reportedly kidnapped and exiled to uninhabited islands, in order to remove their inferior genes from the national gene pool.
#7 Refusal to Eat Rice Not Conforming to ‘Standard’ Length, Colour
This one comes from Lee Young Nam, nephew of his first wife. Apparently The Leader had specially trained female staff, whose role was to inspect each grain of rice destined for his dinner plate.
#8 The True Inventor of the Hamburger
This one should be obvious: given his country’s outright ban on all western influences, the wise dictator had no choice but to create certain ‘new, decidedly non-western’ foods himself… including a radical new form of sandwich dubbed ‘double bread with meat’.
#9 World’s Biggest Hennessey Drinker
Dr. Jerold Post, former CIA psychologist, detailed the Autocrats love of a particular cognac, Paradis, which retails for US$700. By comparison, the average North Korean’s annual income is US $900.
And the dictator’s total yearly spend on Hennessy booze? $600,000 to $850,000!
#10 Sole Authorised Internet User
Until an official state website was put up in 2003, Kim Jong-il was the only North Korean permitted access the internet
Image source: http://kimjongillookingatthings.tumblr.com/