Should Women Act As Porn Police?

Should women act as the “porn police” when it come to their husband or partner’s viewing habits?

Sydney Ask Sam columnist Sam Brett quotes US  Rabbi Shmuley Boteach, an authority on live sex and marriage, says women shouldn’t be shy about letting their man know porn is a “no no” in their relationship.

Says the Rabbi: “Porn portrays women as the libidinous man’s plaything, not an equal to be respected but a subordinate to be used and that this causes all sorts of problems in relationships … and should be stopped pronto.

Nip It In The Bud

“Women must wake up to the fact that they do have a right to nip this behaviour in the bud,” says the Rabbi.

“Pornography is destructive not only because it is insulting to one’s wife, but because it takes one’s erotic focus away from one’s spouse. In this respect, the principal harm it inflicts is not radically different from adultery.”

Ask Sam queried her readers on it and found a wide range of opinion. Even some men agreed with the Rabbi’s view, though generally people seemed to share the idea porn was harmless and not an issue.

Research Says Porn ‘Harmless”

That view was back by a University of Montreal study comparing the views of men in their 20s who had never been exposed to pornography with that of regular users.

The problem with the study was that the researchers actually couldn’t find any blokes who hadn’t consumed porn. Instead they found that, of the men they polled, single ones watched an average of 40 minutes three times a week, while those in relationship watched an average of 20 minutes 1.7 times a week.

But here’s the catch: the scientists also found that pornography didn’t have a negative effect on a man’s sexuality.

“Not one subject had a pathological sexuality,” said head researcher associate professor Simon Louis Lajeunesse.

“In fact, all of their sexual practices were quite conventional … Pornography hasn’t changed their perception of women or their relationship, which they all want to be as harmonious and fulfilling as possible.”

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