Do you sleep curled up together? With your head on his shoulder? Or are you warmly locked up in the “honeymoon hug”?

In sleep people are at their most honest and vulnerable. How you sleep together may reveal secrets about your relationship that aren’t obvious in the clear light of day, according to the “Babe Ruth” of body language experts, Patti Wood.

Patti says about half of all men and women sleep in the “foetal” position, on their side with the head and shoulders curled in and knees tucked up – a position she says indicates “I want to trust others and feel safe.”

By contrast, stretching out in sleep means “I want to take charge and experience adventure.” Sleeping on your stomach can mean you feel vulnerable and want protection.

When you’ve got your loved one in bed with you, sleep takes on deeper significance, says Patti.

Most Common Sleeping Positions

Traditional Spoons Position – the most common position in the first few years of marriage. Couples sleep side-by-side each curled up with each other in the foetal position. One partner is fully cupped around the back of the body of the other. If the spooning is comfortable and balanced, it shows both a strong sexuality and feeling of security in the relationship.

This Spoon position has been shown to increase intimacy in couples and reduce the stress of both partners.

Loose Spoons – similar to above but a little gap between the bodies. Loose spoons tend to come later in the relationship after a few years—typically 5 to 6. If the couple is still close they may touch hands, feet, or knees to stay connected.

The Royal Hug- one partner, typically the man, is lying on his back facing up – indicating confidence and self-assurance. The woman’s head is cradled in the man’s chest or shoulder.

V hug – a confident couple who just need space; a typical position when they have small children who cling during the day. Couples are both on their sides, faced away from each other so only their rear ends touch. The facing away shows trust and the ability and desire to be independent  but the Tushy Touch shows that they want to stay sexually connected.

The Honeymoon Hug occurs when couples just cannot get enough of each other they want to face each other, seemingly gaze into each others’ eyes, even in sleep. Honeymoon huggers face each other and touch all or some of the front of their bodies. One partner may even cradle the other partner’s face in their hands. This is a common position after couples first begin to make love. In addition, is also seen frequently in couples who are not married.

The Leg or Feet Hug - Often assumed after many years of marriage when the couple wants space but still wants to connect. Just the legs or feet touch.

The Cliffhanger – Both partners are on opposite sides of the bed facing away from one another with no physical contact. This could be because each person is climbing mountains all day and just needs a good night’s sleep or because something like snoring or menopausal night sweats make being close uncomfortable.

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About the author

Jenny W
First career as newspaper and magazine journalist with daily newspapers and magazines, then as an editor who successfully launched a new national Sunday newspaper and NZ House & Garden magazine. First woman editor of NZ Listener. Enjoying a second career as a business owner and entrepreneur, health products marketer, social media habitué, blogger and web marketer. Still learning and loving it.

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1 Comment for What Sleep Says About Your Love Life

Brent Piaskoski

My wife and I have done our own (un)scientific research on couples sleeping together. http://idoalready.tumblr.com/post/27984358343/between-the-sheets