1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and
point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice !

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks .
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

5. In the memo field of all your checks, write ‘ for marijuana.

6. Skip down the hall rather than walk and see how many looks you get.

7. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

8. Specify that your drive-through order is ‘to go’.

9. Sing along at the opera.

10. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party
because you have a headache.

11. When the money comes out the ATM, scream ‘I Won! I Won!’

12. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot,
yelling ‘run for your lives! they’re loose!’

13. Tell your children over dinner,

‘Due to the economy, We are going to have to let one of you go.’

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity

14.PICK UP A BOX OF CONDOMS AT THE PHARMACY,
GO TO THE COUNTER AND ASK WHERE THE FITTING ROOM IS.

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About the author

Jenny
First career as newspaper and magazine journalist with daily newspapers and magazines, then as an editor who successfully launched a new national Sunday newspaper and NZ House & Garden magazine. First woman editor of NZ Listener. Enjoying a second career as a business owner and entrepreneur, health products marketer, social media habitué, blogger and web marketer. Still learning and loving it.